Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
