I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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