yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
we should paint friendship bongs
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