Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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