hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
