Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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