you guys were way drunker than both of me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I want her autograph on my taint
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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