I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
