We named our party play list daddy issues
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
