whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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