He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
