in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
