so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
