You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
