i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
