physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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