Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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