Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry naughtytime hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.

Fav 14 4632 1744
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear

Fav 12 3823 2451
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now

Fav 12 1764 5334
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh

(1-703): View more from Virginia

be sure to add "office slut" to your resume

Fav 10 5090 1340
share tweet
(479): View more from Arkansas

She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.

Fav 8 4987 998
share tweet
(907): View more from Alaska

On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.

Fav 4 2500 734
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(808): View more from Hawaii

Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.

Fav 12 2458 957
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see

Fav 7 1766 659
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful

Fav 0 30 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT