So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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