so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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