My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
