My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
