Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
