I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
