Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
