I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
