I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
