i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
