She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
