woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
