Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Having a random hookup so left but love u
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We were destined to go to rehab together
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
