Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
