at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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