Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
