If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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