My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
