Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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