There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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