Got a toothbrush?
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
