Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
