By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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