did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
