yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
