i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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