smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
