Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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