so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
