I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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