I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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