Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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